This weekend, Kiwis up and down the country will be utilising the extra day off for one thing and one thing only – brunch. With a whole extra 24 hours to indulge oneself, we here at Fennec & Friends could think of no better way to celebrate the Queen’s Official Birthday than with a selection of royalty-inspired dining extravaganzas. Pip pip!
Cornflakes for one
According to Darren McGrady, the Queen’s former personal chef, the Queen usually eats breakfast alone at 9AM, “because the Duke of Edinburgh prefers to eat a little earlier at 8.30am.” If you ask us, that’s a little cold, Phillip. If you’re going to avoid your partner, do it by more than half an hour, or you’ll still be slurping your milk when Queenie rocks up for breakfast.
Regardless, there’s nothing wrong with eating alone, especially if you’re the Head of State, so do yourself a favour and pour yourself a bowl of royally approved cereal; Liz is partial to Special K or Cornflakes, alongside a cup of black Earl Grey tea.
But remember, this is the sixth longest-reigning monarch in history we’re talking about, folks. She’s not munching away on plain Cornflakes and white sugar like the rest of us plebs. Instead, the Queen likes “a spoonful or two of apricots, prunes or some macadamia nuts” on top of her cereal. She keeps these condiments fresh in a Tupperware box which, as far as we can tell, is neither gilded nor ornately decorated.
Just to rub it in, when at Balmoral she opts for freshly picked woodland strawberries to garnish her granola. Class.
Gin & Dubonnet
After finishing your cereal, what could be more royal than a glass of gin? According to McGrady, Her Maj enjoys “a gin and Dubonnet (a sweet wine-based aperitif) with a slice of lemon and a lot of ice.” Before lunch. This lady’s not messing around folks, so neither should you. For maximum authenticity, opt for Gordon’s Gin, which has a royal warrant.
Chocolate
You’ll want to wash down all that gin with something sweet, and Elizabeth’s love of chocolate is well-documented, with luxury brands Charbonnel et Walker, Bendicks, and Prestat all holding royal warrants. However, McGrady says, “supermarket brands like Cadbury and Nestlé could also be found in the royal household.”
Along with chocolate biscuit cake (yes, that’s a thing), the Queen also loves chocolate mousse and a traditional chocolate ganache sponge cake.
Afternoon tea
More of a brinner than a brunch, afternoon tea is a staple of life at Buckingham Palace. McGrady says it’s served with “fingers sandwiches”, which aren’t nearly as cannibalistic as they sound. Flavours include “cucumber, smoked salmon, egg and mayonnaise, or ham and mustard with the crusts removed.” We can’t help but wonder whether the chef who is laboriously cutting crusts of the Queen’s sandwiches would feel like they’ve absolutely smashed it or seriously lost their way in life.
The tea is also served with ‘jam pennies’, tiny raspberry jam sandwiches cut into circles the size of an English Penny (because when servings are smaller, you can eat more of them), as well as “McVitie’s rich tea biscuits, scones, and cakes, her favourites being honey and cream sponge, ginger, fruit, and chocolate biscuit cake.” If this looks like a lot of sugar to be ingesting daily, that’s because it is. She’s 93, who are you to argue?
Strangely, though she always insisted on having scones, McGrady alleges that the Queen never ate them herself. “Instead, at the end of her daily tea, the Queen would take a scone and crumble it on the floor for the corgis,” he wrote in Eating Royally. “It seems the dogs quite liked them.”
Scrambled Eggs with Smoked Salmon and Grated Truffle
It would seem Her Majesty is sometimes in the mood for some sweet #KetoGains. According to McGrady, “When she dines on her own she’s very disciplined. No starch is the rule.” (Except for the Cornflakes, sandwiches, biscuits, and cakes.)
Instead of wrecking her insulin levels like the rest of us with buckets of toast, Her Maj occasionally sits down to a plate of scrambled eggs with some smoked salmon, preferring brown eggs to white. Though she adores grated truffle, “she was too frugal to ever order fresh truffles”, said McGrady, “and only really enjoyed them at Christmas when the truffles were sent as a gift.” Good on you, Liz, but remember – it’s your birthday. Treat yourself.
Champagne
After all that, you’ll probably need a drink to help you get off to sleep. Opt for a classic glass of champagne, which the Queen enjoys most evenings, selecting from the eight brands that hold royal warrants. Drift off to sleep on your ermine-skin quilts and dream of luxury sandwiches and warm chocolate biscuit cakes. Just make sure you remind the butler to wake you up. Cheers!
