Keeping Up With The Kanyes: Sex Positivity and The Great Kanspiracy

Good things come in due time. Jesus waited half a week to arise from his rock, Yeezus blue-balled fans for over a year with his The Life of Pablo release, and lest I remind you of the “40 songs with Kendrick and Young Thug” that Kanye promised us in 2016 that have yet to surface. Without further ado, here’s a look at some of the chaos Mr West has been causing in the last couple weeks.



Legendary film director Spike Jonze has already created cinematic masterpieces with Kanye. For the uninitiated, watch the Flashing Lights music video, or for some longer watching check out their collaborative short film, We Were Once a Fairytale.

Debuting at the Pornhub awards, Lil Pump joined Kanye in a high-tech video assault on the senses. Kitted out in oversized Roblox suits, Kanye and Pump were both on their best behaviour, displaying their raw aerobic ability, twisting around in the restrictive full-body suits.

In the song itself, ‘I Love It’, Kanye and Pumpicus drop a lyrical barrage. The sex-positive song is essential in the modern climate, with lines like “You’re such a fucking’ ho, I love it” implying a change in the culture of rap music. Gone are the days of Kanye rapping about prowling the street for “Drunk And Hot Girls”. The public-consciousness has moved on, and so has Kanye, and now all of the music world will follow.



“He gives us what we need, it may not be what we want.”

What is art if doesn’t make you think? This panel of Basquiat-esque art which Kanye dropped onto his Twitter is no exception. It appears as if it’s a hidden language, but my intuition makes me think it’s something more, something that us mere mortals can’t yet interpret. One could get lost in each character for years. As martyrs in the impossible mission to understand Kanye, we took it upon ourselves to dive into the pit and attempt the impossible and dissect the puzzle that Ye has laid out for us.

Upon close examination, most of the characters resemble a creature of some sort. Some are clear some aren’t.

For instance, shown below is the humble turtle, clear as day to see. Beside it, the snail, another creature renowned for its slow speed.


But understanding the icons alone was not enough. After in-depth study of each image, we came up with my closest guess for what each character could be. Taking the first letter from each image and putting it all together seemed the next logical step, but sometimes logic isn’t the logical approach.

My best attempt at assigning meaning to these revolutionary art-pieces.


This when we accepted defeat, the code cannot be cracked, it’s unsolvable to humans. Sometimes we just can’t understand the Yeezus. It’s a concept addressed by philosophers time and time again. In the same way that you wouldn’t be able to explain an email to a pirate singing sea shanties fighting against the East India  Company, 21st-century humans can’t interpret the future aesthetic and thoughts of Mr West. Sometimes he’s playing 4D chess, and we’re still over here playing Cluedo.

And then it happened. Kanye shed some light to us humble pedestrians on Instagram in his one-way road to canonisation.

In two weeks’ time, Kanye will appear on SNL’s season debut alongside Star Wars: The Last Jedi’s resident sadboy, Adam Driver. Following that post he uploaded a series of models posing in bizarre figurations. These performers when put together form a brand-new puzzle, except this one seems like it may actually be designed to be solved.







It clicked. It all clicked. The models spell ‘YANDHI’, the Instagram post said ‘YANDHI’, Kanye preaches peace, Ghandi preached peace, merge them and you get Yandhi. It’s a clear evolution of his previous Yeezus persona, and it’s an understandable step for him to take. The man even shared album art similar to his Yeezus album art, another solid indicator that Yandhi is upon us.

As it turns out, Jean-Paul Sartre was right, “Everything has been figured out, except how to live.” Nothing is unsolvable.

UNTIL…Kanye had to burst the bubble less than an hour later when he posted not one, but ten more  Instagram posts of models displaying an array of undecipherable movements.

All in all, it was foolish to believe the puzzle could be cracked in the first place. Intently searching for answers when Kanye had already told us that everything is alright was just unwise.


As Jay-Z said “Fuck you, Kanye, first and foremost for making me do this shit.” Within an hour of this post first going up, Kanye confirmed the YANDHI theory.